i gotta get me some vnv music….

when i have nothing left to feel
when i have nothing left to say
i’ll just let this slip away

i feel these engines power down
i feel this heart being to bleed
as i turn this burning page

please forgive me if i bleed
please forgive me if i breathe
i have words i need to say
oh so very much to say

and whose life do i lead?
and whose blood do i bleed?
whose air do i breathe?
with whose skin now do i feel?

i’m supposed to walk away from here
i’m supposed to walk away from here

and whose life do i lead?
whose blood do i bleed?
whose air do i now breathe?
i’m convinced there’s nothing more

the day you died i lost my way
the day you died i lost my mind

what am i supposed to do?
is there something more?

the engines power down
like a soldier to his end i go
because i’m convinced
that there is nothing more

and whose life do i lead
and whose air do i breathe?
with whose skin and whose blood do i feel?

what happens now?
have i done something wrong?

forgive my need to bleed right now
please forgive my need to breathe
but i’ve so much to say
and it wouldn’t matter anyway
you’re not here to hear these words that i must say
and i’m convinced inside
that there is nothing more

whose life do i lead?
whose air do i breathe?
whose blood do i now bleed?
with whose skin now do i feel?

i have nothing left to say
i have nothing left to feel
am i supposed to let this go now,
let darkness come and take you away?

VNV Nation – Forsaken


Howdy folks. I haven’t written in a while. I don’t often get the desire to dump my feelings upon the open ground of LiveJournal anymore. *topic switch*

I was thinking about how I was going to write about my new pet peeves, and then I realized that I am probably afflicted with those exact problems. I would hate my clone. *topic switch*

VNV Nation’s Solitary EP arrived today. It is superb. A royal masterpiece. Unbelievably amazing. Listen if you can. *topic switch*

I moved out of my apartment this morning. Those housing managers were some of the coolest, most laid-back guys I’ve ever met. I hope they succeed in whatever they want to do. The moving out process was absolutely painless, especially compared to the anal soldier of cleanliness I had to deal with when moving out of my dorm room.

My roommate and I will be living at Steve Dagley’s house (who lives right by Netscape, the lucky man. Not to mention he also has a house in Florida…) I’m only staying there for a week, after which I’ll begin the scenic drive back to Iowa…

*sigh* So don’t want to return to school… This next semester is going to be really tough. I don’t have time to work on my own code anymore. :( Let alone socialize. Or play video games. Or slide my blade of blue steel into the stomachs of certain ‘friends’ while they sleep…

Thanks for listening. *yawn* Back to work.

Cancer eating away at society

In the process of testing Netscape 6.1 before we ship it, I went to a few of the major news sites (cnn.com, msnbc.com, abc.com) and started reading things that looked interesting, or controversial, or whatever.

There is the usual blah blah “X shot Y”, “Z mauled by W animal”, etc. etc…

Eventually I see an article on cnn.com saying pornography on the web is a “cancer eating away at our society”. What the hell?! The pornography itself doesn’t mean that society is collapsing! It’s the lack of caring parents!

The MSNBC technology page mentions that a memory leak has been found in Windows ME. A memory leak! That is NOT newsworthy! In software even close to the magnitude of Windows, memory leaks are relatively common! If every memory leak in large software was reported, it would even drown out the murders! Repeat after me: THIS IS NOT NEWS. THIS IS NOT NEWS!

Journalism on the web is pathetic. Utterly pathetic.

*minor topic switch* On a somewhat related note, my respect for the US government is diminishing rapidly as well.

I have a feeling that we’ll have a minor revolution within the next ten years. Technology is advancing too quickly for American society. Part of the problem is that so few people understand it. Even those that *do* understand how it works don’t understand the true meaning of ultimate electronic freedom.

People do what they want. People get what they want. You can’t change that. I don’t know the answer (never was good at predicting the future…) but the way things are going, we’ll have three big companies ruling all of America. And god knows I hope it doesn’t turn out that way.


What is up with all of this anti-pornography crap in the news? Who cares? I’m sick of religious fundamentalists. YOU DON’T KNOW THE ANSWER. ADMIT IT. I don’t either. Let’s get that straight. The way to solve any problem is to be completely open-minded (or at least as much as our humanness will let us be) about it and evaluate all possibilities. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it takes time. Yes, you’ll probably be wrong (just like all smart people are, admitting that is what makes you smart). But when we finally stumble across the answer, or at least one that works for the moment, we will *know* that it is a good one.

Hmmm, that was a rant if anything was. And Netscape 6.1 sucks when you’re typing stuff in text boxes. *shudder*


I’d just like to take a second to apologize to my friends. I haven’t been paying much attention to people in the last couple weeks… Work is taking its toll, and when I come home, it’s hard to do anything at all. We’re going to ship Netscape 6.1 before too long, so hopefully things will calm down…


There is so much nifty information out there… on the Internet, in books, being created by people all of the time, that I could spend every single one of my waking hours reading, listening, and learning. I’ve been home for three and a half hours now, and I still have 11 browser windows open with things to read… C++ tips… 3D audio primer… vegan@everything2…

Not really sure what I want to say. I guess I’m misusing time that could be spent reading, actually. Nevermind. ^_^


I met the strangest and most intelligent man I’ve ever seen last night. Our conversation at dinner ranged from Japanese pornography to intelligence testing to Sigourney Weaver to why macros and C-style casts are bad to my tastes in women. We talked about college and how he got kicked out his freshman year for ripping a teacher in the middle of class. Dagley put it best when he said “Netscape isn’t just a job. It’s an adventure.”

Talking about college reminded me that I have about a month left out here in heavenly California… :( I really wish I could just stay out here and work for Netscape. It’s much more exciting than school. Ah well, maybe Netscape will want to give me another internship next year.

I’m wearing the MacOS X shirt today. Phear. >:)