I got Bloodflowers and Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me today. Bloodflowers is absolutely amazing. I stuck it in, turned it up really loud, and lied on the couch, lost in Robert Smith’s voice.

I think I might take a break from AIM and IRC. Need some time to work and possibly meet people in the nearby area…

Chris Jarvis rules

Okay, now that I’m done releasing the software and evangelizing (gotta let people know it exists!), I can relax… Feels nice. I’m going through all of my 75 messages in my inbox (sorry guys!) and taking care of those… also keeping up to date on message board posts.

Anyhow, I guess the real reason I posted was to say that is right. This song, Northern Sky, by Chris Jarvis, is absolutely amazing. Independent trackers blow me away again and again with the beauty of their creations. On the other hand, they all seem depressed. Come to think of it, a lot of artists are. Peace, everyone. Life is good.

(and listen to the song!)


Well, I got some stuff done at work today, but around 2:00 p.m. I started having trouble keeping my eyes open. My boss told me to go home and get some rest (I’ve been working really long days recently), so I came home and passed out on the couch for about five hours. When I woke up, I had this HUGE urge to code, so I sat down and starting hacking away like a maniac. Six hours later and three packages of ramen later, Audiere/Acoustique 1.0 is released. :))) I love this state. I’m still kinda high from the coding binge, and I’m typing incredibly fast. I think I’m going to go into Linux and start hacking out the Linux port now… (as you can probably tell, my sentence formulation skills pretty much suck. writing document after document after document burns you out…)

Things are kinda weird between Katherine and I. She won’t tell me a thing, so I’m pretty much just stuck wondering. I guess I’ll just have to trust her. And wait until she is ready for… whatever.


I can’t believe it! First time in days I got more than five hours of sleep! A whole *seven*!

Work is going well… I’ve been staying late and working on the bugs assigned to me, which is really quite addictive. I think I want to work at Netscape after college. >:)

I think I’m starting to be a little happy again. I decided that I need to quit caring about everything and just be happy. It sounds a little hippieish (is that a word? :)… Maybe I’ll turn into and forever be pleased with the world….

On your knees, knave.

Considering how little sleep I got at the end of last week, I’ve been remarkably productive this weekend. I woke up at 2:00 a.m. on Saturday morning. Around 6:30 I took him to the airport. He’ll be on the east coast with a friend all week (I can keep my own hours at work, yay!)

Anyhow, I spent that morning writing code until I passed out on the couch. After a short nap, I started playing Quake III… By 6:30 the next morning I had probably played eight hours or so. A guy named The*Prophet and I practiced all sorts of things, most notably air rockets and walking over the jump pads without jumping. He also told me I had skill, which was impressive, considering I was just slightly worse than him, and he scored 7-4 against Kamisama, who is the second best Q3 player I’ve ever seen. :) Maybe one day I’ll actually get decent at the game!

Today (well, Sunday, I guess), I slept until 4:00 p.m. When I woke up, I took a shower, did the dishes, and got right to work on my audio subsystem. The goal was to get MikMod integrated before sleeping. Well, I’m happy to say that I’ve succeeded. I also got Ogg Vorbis working. My audio system is in a 0.95 state, at least, Quite possibly 1.0. It’s been sooo long since I’ve actually *finished* something. I’m very pleased with the architecture too. Now all that’s left is porting to Linux (someone else is gonna have to do the MacOS port), writing documentation, updating my web page, writing Java bindings, updating Mozilla bindings, fixing the output driver setup, and evangelizing people to use it… I guess it’s not a small amount of work… Oh well, it shouldn’t be painful, just time-consuming. :) Hopefully, will be updated within a few days.

On the other side of things, I think I’m screwing up my personal life, but maybe that’s okay. Did I ever have one? I live to write code, I guess.

There is anger resolute.
Rears its familiar head on the TV screen.
In a dozen bags a life was placed.
In a breath he smiled and waved.
Five minutes at a time the power held true.
Without consternation our laws are lost.
Lost to butchers, lost to child killers, lost to narcotic ritual.
Another tag, another headline.
Another smiling face shall stay 10 winters long forever.
And where are the angels to guard?
Where is the God of men and children?
He is stalking the minds of dark poor souls.
I know it’s right and I know it’s time for freedom:
to kill another and to kill another and to kill another child of the flag till there are none left…


enveloped in a sentiment,
a sound that rushes over me.
engage an impulse to pretend
I have a faith as pure.
not forgetting what it means to dream.
indulging everything.
entertaining thoughts that I’ve the strength
of those I yearn to be.
cheers and tribute greet the saviors.
reckless thoughts survive.
anachronistic and impulsive.

and what will happen? will I dream?
I am too scared to close my eyes.
for a second please hold me.
none can change in me these things that I believe.
but I don’t know what happens now.
I am too scared to close my eyes.

(c) vnv nation 1999